When we think about having kids,
There’s no applications, or tender bids,
There’s no business plan involved,
No approval granted, declined, resolved.
And wouldn’t hindsight be a grand old gem,
When you slump in a heap and say, “Kids!? Who’d ‘ave ’em?
No ghost to take us forward to see,
The sleepless nights, being covered in wee,
the crayon incidents, didn’t know about those,
why on earth do they try to get them up in their nose?
And wouldn’t it be great if we wasn’t so glum,
so at the end of the day we think “Kids! Who’d ‘ave ’em!?”
The temper tantrums, the saying no!
The constant feeling of on the go.
the bedroom floor has gone – covered in mess,
the getting cross from all the stress.
Oh ghost of the future where were you then?
cos now i’m grey thinking “kids?! Who’d ‘ave ’em?”
You may well read this and think that i’m bad
a terrible mother – or maybe slightly mad,
but really and truly have you never thought?
“Kids? Who’d ‘ave ’em?” when you’ve been distraught?
They will push you, pull you and but you to test,
when all you want is just to have a rest,
Hide in the bathroom, a moments embrace,
until they walk in – with mud on their face.
cos yes highsight is a wonder, a gem,
but we look at the mess and say “kids? Who’d ‘ave ’em?”
The money we waste on toys that they break,
The pounds that we gain on the cakes that they make,
The broken record of asking us Why?
Why is that green? Why is there blue sky?
who reading this would still ‘ave ‘ad em?
I wonder what eve would’ve said to adam?
Oh put it away – you can glue on that leaf
there is no way I’m going through that grief!
It DOESN’T get easier – only changes with age,
there are problems and tantrums with every stage,
I’m hoping one day that things will be fun,
when theyre old enough – we can leg it and run!
Although really and truly I think Love is the key,
it stops us from running, from turning to flee.
Love was invented to tie us like gum,
when we’re thinking “kids, who’d ‘ave ‘um!?”
We’re bringing in hindsight, we’re showing too much,
we’re giving kids babies to care for at lunch.
We’re risking a population decrease,
cos no one will ‘ave ’em and humans will cease.
so really who’ll have em? these kids of our time?
well let me know and they can have mine…