Just the other day I turned to ask Chris,
If he’d sit Jamie – so I could go out on the piss,
He ummed and arrhed cos he had his daughter
And it may be like putting lambs to the slaughter.
But as it was my friend Sam’s leaving do,
We decided on a sleep over, even though that was new.
The kids they did cheer when we told them the news,
And we were quite chuffed – but then that was a ruse.
I know parents all over will be thinking the same,
Why on earth would you do that? Are you that insane?
Putting kids together when they’re 4 years apart?
Well it was going well – at least it was at the start.
The first problem we had was who will sleep where?
And on bathing them, should we wash their hair?
Then Jamie didn’t want to sleep in his bed,
so we made him a camp bed on the floor instead.
We bathed them, read stories and kissed them goodnight,
And I ran out the door before they started to fight,
Cos Bluebell is 4, Jamie’s 8 and Autistic,
So there was a strong chance one might go ballistic.
At 11pm it was now or never,
So I walked out the door – feeling quite clever,
But I felt quite shattered when I got to the pub,
And wishing I’d stayed home for a soak in the tub.
My friends were all drunk – and I was cold sober,
And the night was quite frankly just about over.
A quick drink, a catch up and a game of pool,
I thought of poor Chris with the kids, and felt cruel.
So I made my excuses and rushed home to see,
A weary old man, slumped on the settee.
He had fear in his eyes, and a look of despair
And I think that his beard had new chunks of grey hair.
So we decided, for now, it was a bad idea,
And I promised not to ask for at least another year,
A promise I said that I really would keep,
Cos there’s one word too many in sleep over, it’s SLEEP!