I don’t want to go to school Mum
I want to stay at home with my duck.
I’d rather stay home with you Mum,
And hit the skirting board with my truck.
Don’t make me go to school today Mum,
I’ll sit here quiet on the stairs
Or I’ll sit underneath the table
Scratching all the varnish off the chairs.
I don’t want to go to school Mum,
When I could be underneath your feet.
It’s shopping day and we could go together
Taking twice as long to get to Regent Street.
And every time you stop to talk to someone
I won’t let you concentrate, no fear!
I’ll be jumping up and down beside you
Shouting ‘Can I have some sweets Mum?’ in your ear.
Or how about me doing a bit of painting?
Or what about a bit of cutting out?
Or sitting in the open bedroom window
Body in and legs sticking out?
Or what about us going up the park Mum?
Or how about me sitting in the sink?
Or what about me making you a cake Mum?
And Mum. Hey Mum. Mum can I have a drink?
Mum what’s that at the bottom of the cupboard?
And Mum, what’s that bag you put down there?
And hey Mum watch me jump straight off the sofa,
And Mum, whose dog is that stood over there?
What you doing Mum? Peeling potatoes?
Sit me on the drainer watching you
I wouldn’t mind me trousers getting wet Mum,
Oh I aren’t half fed up. What can I do?
What time is Daddy coming home Mum?
What’s in that long packet? Sausage Meat?
How long is it before he comes Mum?
And Mum. Hey Mum. What can I have to eat?
Oh sorry Mum! I’ve upset me Ribena.
Oh look! It’s making quite a little pool.
Hey Mum, hey, where we going in such a hurry?
Oh Mum! Hey Mum, you’re taking me to SCHOOL!