Sad Times… :(

My other half’s Mum passed away Friday. She was very poorly and in her eighties but I don’t think that makes it any easier. Loss is loss and grief is grief. I’ve lost lots of people I love but for Chris this is all a bit new. I am new at this too – I’m falling apart inside but trying to stay strong for the man I love but I have no instructions. I don’t know how he grieves – neither does he. I don’t know what to say, what to do, or how to take his pain away. The thing is though – I can’t take it away. He needs to feel it. He needs to go through the process of grief and I have to let him. I have to let him find his own way – not mine.

Joan is at peace. She called me Laughing Girl and all I wanted to do when I visited was to make her laugh. I stopped visiting though because I could no longer do that – so I feel guilty. I guess that is a natural part of grief. She didn’t seem to be aware of people coming and going but what if…. what if indeed. The biggest question asked in this situation. What if I’d been there? What if I’d done more? What if…. Fact is we didn’t. We make choices and we might not understand them at the time but we have to trust that we made them for a reason.

I want to take Chris’ pain away but all I can do is give him time, and be here to cry with him, hug him and help him remember the good old days. He has his brothers and his sister is coming home from Australia – so I finally get to meet his sister. His Dad will get to see his Daughter again and we’ll all be together for his Dad. To share in his pain and to prop him up with massive love cushions.

So, Joan may have passed on but she is by no means gone. We’ll remember her and you will know she was here too. Joan Pegley was here – on earth and if it wasn’t for her my life would be all the more duller for it. Thank you Joan! x

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11 thoughts on “Sad Times… :(

  1. so sorry for your loss, Its something we all say, but from me its really down deep, down from my heart to the day’s I lost my parents and when my Grandparents passed, I felt like I ran into a brick wall doing 184 miles an hour….. no turning back or stopping… then I heard this voice {whom sounded like my grand mother saying GOD gives us all things he knows we can handle , and helps us grow and become who we are from it..So take all the good and love from it and run with it.. Lov Rose………

  2. So sorry for yours and Chris’s pain. I love the word picture of you all propping his dad up with cushions of love. That will help all of you, love. The love of each other, as well as the love of friends and other loved ones. Trust me on this, love helps A LOT. You’re right, there are no words, we can’t take someone’s pain away, but we can be there for them, and you are.

    • Thank you very much Linda – sorry not been on here for a bit. I am very proud to have the name Laughing Girl and will be using this in some work as a tribute. The funeral was lovely. We gave her a good send off.

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