Change Shake – Jamie starts a new school…

Shake. Shake. Shake.. I feel my every single essence of my being shake. Why are we shaking with dread? Why are we both panicking over that shaking feeling and why do we not turn it into excitement? Because of our passed experiences. Because we have reason to believe that what people say isn’t really what they mean. That we have only our own experience to really trust and that tells us that this feeling is bad, bad, bad. We know this to be true. Our map tells us that when we went to this place before things did not end well – ergo this situation will also, based on what happened last time, be bad also. Shake. Shake. shake. turning to a shiver of dread. Fear and dread because we know. Even though people tell us it will be different this time – that everything will be okay. The shake has a much more powerful influence on our being than any words spoken by fake smiles and empty gestures – especially being able to feel that they too! Are SHAKING! They also only have their own experiences to go by and the last time we were put in the same situation – it went horribly wrong. They – those around us know us best. They told us not to worry and then it went wrong. It did go wrong. Never trusting them again!

Never ever trust anyone else. Keep yourself to yourself and never get too close to people. Don’t tell them too much about you.

Fear.

Fear that something will taste bad because that one time I did trust her because she said it was lovely – and it turned out to be disgusting! I’m not doing that again! I’ll stick with what I know from now on. All other things are disgusting – I know because I’ve tried!

Fear that there are dangers everywhere and that every stranger is going to try to kidnap me or kill me – because of that lesson we had at school that told us so.

Fear that one day I’m going to have to get a job and I don’t know what I want to be yet.

Fear that it is bad to be me most of the time because people talk about me being good like it’s a miracle and all I’m doing is just trying to get through the day without it all getting too much. Trying so hard not to make any mistakes without really remembering the rules. Seeing others break the rules. Wondering why we even have rules in the first place if people are just going to do something else or say something they don’t even really mean….

Fear. All based on previous experience and that THIS MUST be right.

Shake. Shake. Shake..

ENOUGH!

What IF we hope for the best? What IF we realise that just because something didn’t taste very nice it doesn’t mean that every single new thing that we taste isn’t going to be the most delicious thing we’ve ever tasted? A taste sensation in the mouth of which we would never have had the pleasure of tasting because our previous experience told us that new = bad? What IF we tried? What IF we put down the past as the past and learned from experiences in a positive way by doing something DIFFERENT next time? What IF we trusted that everything would work out for the best – that we have no need to worry or feel anxious because it is only an illusion of fear.

Is it not better to spend your time daydreaming that it’s wonderful? Is it not better to change the thought – because what happened in the past doesn’t actually have to happen in the future if we had less fear and more open arms to opportunity and hope? Everything IS happening as it should be. Everything WILL be okay. There are solutions. Things can be sorted out. If there is a problem – change it. Change it again learning from the change before. Free your mind and spend some time playing with the idea of what if I got all of my wishes to come true in life? That ONE DAY takes time and patience. The journey is to be enjoyed!

Shake. Shake. Shake and feel the excitement rumble through the veins and every single essence of your being.

This journey is one that NO ONE else on the planet is experiencing the same as you. You are UNIQUE – just as every single Tuesday is unique and that actually, just because the first time something went wrong happened to be on a Tuesday – doesn’t mean all Tuesdays are bad. Just because one day it feels like the end of the world; it isn’t. Not until it is… and before then – go and fucking LIVE!

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